Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
