My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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