Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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