You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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