you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
