She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
