Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
