they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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