Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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