Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
