Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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