so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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