just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
