OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
