happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
