Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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