question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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