Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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