No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
