I think I died a long time ago.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
