you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
