There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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