cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
