when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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