I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I wish you could order shots online.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
