Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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