If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
