so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
