dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
