he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
