someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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