During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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