i just wanna soil my oats bro
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
