I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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