The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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