Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
