walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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