well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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