do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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