Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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