I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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