So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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