I hate your face
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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