I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
