A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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