i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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