I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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