winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
