let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
