I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
God, I missed his penis.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
